Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,773

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Breaking via X:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Trending via Pinterest:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Trending via Instagram:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Trending via TikTok:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Live now on X:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

1 month ago

Humorous text pondering if protein desires to be in everything.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I bet protein's having an identity crisis at this point 😂🥚🍗🍩

food, humor, nutrition, protein, question, science, things, think, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

70 shares on Discord this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

52 shares on TikTok this month:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Breaking via Slack:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Just shared via Discord:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Going viral on Facebook:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Just landed via Instagram:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Keep the laugh going 😂

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨