Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Just shared via Slack:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Trending via Threads:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's a diagnosis I can live with, doc! 😎🩺🌴

am, chill, doctor, humor, i, joke, medical, medical joke, relaxation, said, terminal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

0

2 months ago

advent, advent calendar, anticipation, calendar, chocolate, Christmas, holiday, humor, time, tomorrow, treat
The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

0

3 months ago

70s, 80s, 90s, best, decade, decades, evidence, humor, memory, nostalgia
I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

0

2 months ago

conversation, fun, pretending, talking, tired, weather
Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

0

2 months ago

back, going, humor, intention, laziness, morning, procrastination, sleep, wake, wake up
I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, communication, daily, daily life, feel, honesty, humor, i, inner, inner voice, life, loud, restraint, sarcasm, saying, self-control, thinking, thought, today, voice, witty
Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

0

4 months ago

amelia, Amelia Earhart, costume, earhart, everyone, funny story, going, Halloween, i, joke, never, no show, party, show, story, told, top, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

29 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

98 shares on Threads this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Going viral on Facebook:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Making waves on Discord:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨