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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Just landed via Discord:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Trending via Telegram:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Shared recently on Telegram:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Trending via WeChat:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Trending via YouTube:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Making waves on YouTube:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Where can I sign up for this romantic roommate arrangement? 🏠❤️😂

anyone, dating, fall, fall in love, humor, living, living together, love, me, relationship, rent, roommate, together, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, budgeting, camping, Europe, financial, going, humor, me, planning, summer, summer vacation, travel, travel planning, vacation
Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

0

3 months ago

communication, excuse, eyesight, glasses, hearing, humor, i, misunderstanding, repeat, said, sorry
I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

0

2 months ago

Aristotle, believe, fastest, humor, i, kids, laughter, once, parenting, screaming, start, stop
After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

0

2 months ago

frustration, hour, humor, meeting, motivation, player, sarcasm, team, team meeting, team player, workplace
Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

0

2 months ago

4, cherry, fruit, humor, joke, just, math, pounds, problem, purchase
Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

0

2 months ago

apples, fairy, fairy tale, humor, i, joke, need, number, request, snow, Snow White, tale, white, witch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on TikTok this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

45 shares on X this month:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Seen just now on Reddit:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Just landed via Reddit:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Just landed via Discord:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Just landed via TikTok:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨