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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,781

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Breaking via Discord:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Going viral on Instagram:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Just landed via Telegram:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Where can I sign up for this romantic roommate arrangement? 🏠❤️😂

anyone, dating, fall, fall in love, humor, living, living together, love, me, relationship, rent, roommate, together, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

2 months ago
behavior, brag, bragging, humor, i, irony, mean, people, self-deprecation, social, social behavior
Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

1 month ago
arts, brother, bruce, Bruce Lee, comedy, faster, humor, joke, lee, martial, martial arts, older, speed, sudden, Sudden Lee, wordplay
I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

3 months ago
bite, cause, honesty, hurts, i, mind, pain, speak, speaking, speaking mind, tongue, wit
My body is a vessel for various dips.

2 weeks ago
body, dip, eating, food, humor, snack, vessel
The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

4 months ago
magic, night, nights, sleep, tranquil, voodoo
You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

1 month ago
appearance, comment, costume, funny comment, Halloween, humor, joke, self, yourself

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Just shared via Messenger:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Live now on WeChat:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Live now on Twitch:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Making waves on Discord:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

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Activity Log ✨

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

My body is a vessel for various dips.

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

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Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

My body is a vessel for various dips.

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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