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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Spotted on Telegram:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just landed via Telegram:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Seen just now on Facebook:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Just shared via Facebook:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Where can I sign up for this romantic roommate arrangement? 🏠❤️😂

anyone, dating, fall, fall in love, humor, living, living together, love, me, relationship, rent, roommate, together, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

0

2 months ago

around, bathroom, design, frosted, frosted glass, glass, glass house, home, home design, house, humor, live, people, privacy, should, toilet, transparency
Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, best, communication, dating, dating app, good, humor, media, meeting, place, social, social media, soulmate, tweet
I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

0

2 months ago

adore, change, disappointment, disillusionment, hate, i, just, listening, music, musical, musical taste, personal, personal preference, preference, rapper, shift, taste, used
If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

0

2 months ago

able, asking, cell, cell phone, communication, humor, i, money, phone, policy, politicians, should, suggestions, text
I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

0

2 months ago

apology, french, humor, language, mispronunciation, soiree, wordplay, words
Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

0

2 months ago

app, avoiding, banking, done, finance, humor, money, procrastination, responsibility, self-reflection, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Discord this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

64 shares on X this month:

Everyone is getting idioter.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Just landed via Twitch:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Trending via WeChat:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Breaking via TikTok:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Trending via Pinterest:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨