Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Just shared via X:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This Monday could have been an email.

Just shared via Discord:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Going viral on WeChat:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Shared recently on X:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Making sure to pencil in some "me-time" on my schedule today! 📅😏✨

forget, humor, motivation, optional, orgasm, partner, personal, personal well-being, pleasure, self-care, sexuality, today, well-being

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

2 months ago

beautiful, fun, humor, irony, just, laughter, life, sober
As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

5 months ago

chip, eat, eating, eating habit, habit, help, humor, i, just, OCD, order, pringle, respect, snack, someone
I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

2 months ago

awkward, embarrassment, hate, head, hit, hug, i, mirror, self-love, sexy, someone
Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

6 months ago

being, city, different, else, expense, expensive, family, humor, kid, kids, parenting, price, price tag, put, tag, travel, ungrateful, vacation
My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

2 months ago

change, exercise, favorite, fitness, gym, humor, joke, machine, put, snack, snacks, vending, vending machine, where
I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

2 months ago

2, 5, being, explain, humor, i, love, nap, Saturday, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on YouTube this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Trending via YouTube:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨