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Commentary:
"Don't give up on your dreams. Go back to bed. Because who says dreams can't come true while getting some extra beauty sleep? 😉💤 #DreamOn"

back, bed, dream, dreams, give, humor, motivation, procrastination, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

0

2 months ago

again, beauty, beauty routine, blow-drying, grooming, humor, legs, need, routine, self-care, shave, time, too
Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

0

2 months ago

back, carefully, chest, emotion, feelings, fold, heart, humor, i, inside, irony, metaphor, place, romantic, self-awareness, taking, vulnerability
My life coach traded me.

0

2 months ago

coach, coaching, humor, irony, life, life coach, me, relationships, self-help, trade
Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, aging, bad, convince, eyesight, font, font size, going, humor, just, means, self-deception, size, small, too, trying, yourself
Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

0

2 months ago

geometry, humor, just, math, mean, prove, scam, triangle
I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

0

4 months ago

animal, away, beef, bring, cat, cat food, cow, ego, food, house, humor, i, kind, need, pet, point, stay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Live now on Messenger:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Shared recently on X:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Live now on YouTube:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

My life coach traded me.

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨