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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,305

Funny Quotes Topics

14,220

Funny Quotes Images

11,305

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Trending via Instagram:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Just landed via Threads:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Making waves on Telegram:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Making waves on Slack:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Going viral on WeChat:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Going viral on Threads:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.
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Commentary:
That's why my only drug is caffeine… unfortunately, my test results say 'over-caffeinated' 🙃☕

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,305

Funny Quotes Topics

14,220

Funny Quotes Images

11,305

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Live now on Reddit:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Making waves on Reddit:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Trending via X:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Reported on Pinterest:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

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