Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

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If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

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I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

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Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

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Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

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This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

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My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

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Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.