Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Trending via WeChat:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Spreading quickly via X:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Just landed via Telegram:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Shared recently on X:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Making waves on Slack:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

2 months ago

0

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic childhood dream of growing up to struggle! 💪🏼👶🏼 Who needs easy street when you can take the scenic route through challenges, am I right? 😅 Keep aiming high, even if that means aiming for a struggle! 🎯 #LifeGoals"

always, ambition, childhood, ever, expectations, humor, i, irony, kid, life, little, struggle, survive, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, conversation, humor, joke, menu, pharmacy, secret, secret menu
It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

0

2 months ago

bath, bird, bird bath, brunch, chipmunk, heat, hot, hot tub, humor, menu, Mimosa, summer, tub, using
My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drugs, education, humor, kids, lecture, mix, mixing, parenting, proper, school, still, today, youngest
I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

0

2 months ago

hour, humor, i, lose, loss, lost, me, perspective, sleep
“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

0

2 weeks ago

bed, bed size, beds, couple, couples, divorce, divorce rate, interested, king, king bed, marriage, queen, queen bed, rate, relationship, size, sleep
You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, getting, grocery, humor, joke, know, nostalgia, old, playlist, same, store

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

89 shares on X this month:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

12 shares on X this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,389

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Going viral on WeChat:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Live now on Pinterest:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴