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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Just landed via WeChat:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Breaking via Slack:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Going bananas on Facebook:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Trending via WeChat:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Shared recently on Threads:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

2 days ago

Witty quote about childhood ambitions, highlighting humor and a playful attitude.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic childhood dream of growing up to struggle! 💪🏼👶🏼 Who needs easy street when you can take the scenic route through challenges, am I right? 😅 Keep aiming high, even if that means aiming for a struggle! 🎯 #LifeGoals"

always, ambition, childhood, ever, expectations, humor, i, irony, kid, life, little, struggle, survive, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

34 shares on X this month:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Just landed via X:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Going bananas on Slack:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Spotted on X:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Breaking via Messenger:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Just shared via TikTok:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

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