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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Trending via Facebook:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Trending via Snapchat:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Spotted on Messenger:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

2 months ago

0

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic childhood dream of growing up to struggle! 💪🏼👶🏼 Who needs easy street when you can take the scenic route through challenges, am I right? 😅 Keep aiming high, even if that means aiming for a struggle! 🎯 #LifeGoals"

always, ambition, childhood, ever, expectations, humor, i, irony, kid, life, little, struggle, survive, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

0

5 months ago

advice, again, avoidance, ever, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, procrastination, thinking, tried
My life coach traded me.

0

2 months ago

coach, coaching, humor, irony, life, life coach, me, relationships, self-help, trade
I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

0

4 months ago

affection, flirtation, hands, humor, i, keep, love, man, me, please, touch, touchy-feely, yes
Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

1

2 days ago

cause, even, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, girl, history, humor, i, joke, main, name, saw, t-shirt, three, war, world, World War I
Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

0

2 months ago

dating, entanglement, humor, love, physics, quantum, quantum entanglement, quantum physics, relationship, secret, single, thing, third
One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

0

2 months ago

day, even, humor, internet, internet slang, last, last time, nostalgia, realization, realize, said, slang, time, w00t

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee is just goth water.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,258

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Making waves on Messenger:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Spotted on X:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Live now on WeChat:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Going viral on X:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Trending via Slack:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Stop dating if you have no car.

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