Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Spotted on Twitch:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Trending via Discord:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Shared recently on Reddit:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Making waves on X:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Spotted on WeChat:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Just shared via Messenger:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Making waves on Messenger:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Trending via Reddit:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Is that why everyone gives their dog credit for the 'unique' aroma? 😂🐶🏠 #NoseBlind"

every, family, house, humor, irony, living, only, people, perception, smell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

0

2 months ago

advice, going, good, harder, humor, i, lawyer, need, smarter, work
Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

0

5 months ago

habit, humor, irony, keep, learning, mistake, mistakes, new, old, ones, procrastination, repetition, same, self-awareness, why
Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

0

2 months ago

blowing, chat, communication, distraction, frustration, group, group chat, humor, nothing, patience, phone, tests, texting
Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoid idiot, book, books, coffee, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, idiot, idiots, lifestyle, productivity, read, read book, repeat, routine, self-care
It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

0

5 months ago

almost, away, black, black clothing, bring, change, clothes, clothing, clothing transition, fall, fashion, humor, put, seasonal, seasonal change, summer, time, transition, wardrobe
I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

0

2 months ago

driving, humor, i, overtaking, people, reason, road, sarcasm, speed, traffic, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

57 shares on Reddit this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Making waves on Reddit:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨