Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Just landed via YouTube:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Just shared via YouTube:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Making waves on Discord:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just shared via Facebook:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

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Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the Bristle Brigade! 🦷🪥✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

34 shares on X this month:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

68 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Just landed via Telegram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Trending via Facebook:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Spotted on Threads:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Going viral on YouTube:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

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