Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Just landed via Discord:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Going bananas on Discord:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Humorous text expressing Monday dread with a playful, relatable tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why does Monday feel like it's on a never-ending loop? I need a weekend sequel! 😂🔄 #GroundhogDayVibes #SendHelp"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Spotted on Reddit:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just shared via Threads:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Making waves on Instagram:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just landed via YouTube:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Going viral on Instagram:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴