Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Trending via Messenger:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Spotted on Messenger:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

2 months ago

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Imagine everyone walking around with rainbow eyes from allergy season! 🌈👀😆

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WeChat this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Seen just now on Discord:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Just shared via Instagram:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨