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Commentary:
"Quitting social media is the modern-day equivalent of a 'breakup' – they always come crawling back like a regretful ex 🤷‍♂️📱 #TrialSeparationFail"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

0

5 months ago

addiction, humor, i, pattern, recognition
Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

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2 months ago

affection, both, feeling, humor, i, irony, love, mutual, mutual feeling, relationship, unfortunately, us
Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, beer, humor, meeting, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, Narcan, overdose, recovery, Teams, work
If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

0

2 months ago

brevity, Christianity, humor, joke, kama, Kama Sutra, page, religion, religious, religious satire, satire, sexuality, sutra
Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

0

2 months ago

answering, answering machine, communication, humor, irony, jokes, machine, misnomer, technology, wordplay
Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

0

2 months ago

advice, growth, humor, judge, judgment, less, life, little, personal, personal growth, perspective, self-reflection, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

56 shares on X this month:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

96 shares on WeChat this month:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

64 shares on X this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Spotted on Discord:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Spotted on Facebook:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Just landed via X:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Just landed via Threads:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Seen just now on X:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨