Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,232

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Just landed via X:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Going viral on Threads:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a chance to focus on undivided awkward silences! 📱🚫😂

date, dating, dating idea, deactivate, first date, humor, idea, Instagram, media, relationship, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

0

2 months ago

communication, earlier, humor, i, joke, message, mind, mind reading, reading, telepathy
Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

0

2 months ago

away, home, humor, irony, paper, piece, receipt, shopping, take, throw, throwaway, tiny, waste
The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, dating, devil, humor, life, love, me, reach, relationship, struggle, sure
Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

0

2 months ago

court, entertainment, humor, lawyer, legal, performance, song, songs, walk-up, walk-up song, wrestler
Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

0

2 months ago

diet, humor, lifestyle, never, pants, tight, tip, too, wear
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

1 month ago

bra, dyslexia, dyslexic, humor, joke, man, pun, walking, walks, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

42 shares on Slack this month:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

75 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

93 shares on X this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Seen just now on Threads:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Going viral on TikTok:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Trending via Discord:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Spotted on WeChat:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Going viral on YouTube:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Just landed via X:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨