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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2400 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,562

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,562

26 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Live now on YouTube:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Just shared via Telegram:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Just shared via Reddit:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Just shared via YouTube:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Breaking via WeChat:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Jan 27, 2025

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

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Commentary:
"Oops! Looks like I've left my trusty sword of connectivity at home today. 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that facing the day without our phones would be as nerve-wracking as facing a dragon without a sword? 🐉⚔️ Stay brave, fellow modern-day knights, and may we all survive this epic quest of forgetfulness!"

equivalent, forget, forgetting, home, humor, leaving, medieval, modern, phone, sword, technology, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2400 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,562

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,562

26 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Live now on Slack:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Spotted on X:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Just shared via Slack:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

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