Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Live now on WeChat:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Going viral on Instagram:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Trending via Slack:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Trending via Snapchat:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Breaking via Instagram:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Funny abduct quotes

New funny abduct quotes 👇

All funny abduct quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Just landed via Reddit:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Seen just now on X:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Spotted on WeChat:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Making waves on Slack:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Just shared via TikTok:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

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