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Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

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Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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Jingle all the way? In this economy?

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I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

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I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

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If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

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If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

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Updated

Dec 22, 2025

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Shared recently on Reddit:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Seen just now on Discord:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Going viral on Messenger:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Making waves on Instagram:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Just landed via TikTok:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Breaking via WeChat:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Home » Funny Alcoholic Beverage Quotes

Funny alcoholic beverage quotes

New funny alcoholic beverage quotes 👇

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

0

1 month ago

alcoholic, alcoholic beverage, beverage, blood, Blood of Mannaroth, dew, drink, fantasy, green, green drink, humor, i, mannaroth, mix, mixing, mixing drink, mountain, Mountain Dew, nickname, orc, used, vodka

All funny alcoholic beverage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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68 shares on Instagram this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

93 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

40 shares on WeChat this month:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

11 shares on X this month:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

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Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

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Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Spotted on Reddit:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Breaking via Facebook:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Making waves on Threads:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Just landed via Instagram:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Just shared via WeChat:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Going viral on Discord:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Making waves on Messenger:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

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Funny alcoholic beverage quotes

New funny alcoholic beverage quotes 👇

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

All funny alcoholic beverage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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