Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2151 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,313

Funny Quotes Topics

15,037

Funny Quotes Images

12,313

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Just shared via WeChat:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Reported on Snapchat:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Just landed via Reddit:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Just shared via Facebook:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Just landed via WeChat:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2151 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,313

Funny Quotes Topics

15,037

Funny Quotes Images

12,313

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Live now on Telegram:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Trending via Discord:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Seen just now on X:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Going viral on Slack:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Trending via Slack:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Breaking via Messenger:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Going viral on Slack:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Spotted on Facebook:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

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