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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Just landed via Facebook:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Spotted on X:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Spotted on WeChat:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Live now on YouTube:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Just landed via Instagram:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Funny Alpha quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Life is weird and then you die.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Just landed via Instagram:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

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