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Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Twitch this month:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

11 shares on Slack this month:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

12 shares on Threads this month:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

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