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7 days ago
Share →: Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

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Crow women: masters of shiny object collection and perfecting the art of dramatic caw-versation! 🪶😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Just shared via Telegram:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Just shared via Instagram:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Seen just now on Discord:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Trending via Reddit:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Seen just now on X:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Going viral on X:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

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Funny animal lovers quotes

New funny animal lovers quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You lose some, you lose some more.

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Food gives you energy to nap more.

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

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