Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,082

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Going viral on X:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Trending via Telegram:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Home » Funny Audio Tour Quotes

Funny audio tour quotes

New funny audio tour quotes 👇

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

0

1 month ago

activity, audio, audio tour, commentary, critique, family, humor, museum, need, teen, time, tour, visit

All funny audio tour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

71 shares on Discord this month:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

74 shares on X this month:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

99 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

89 shares on Threads this month:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

68 shares on Telegram this month:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Freshly posted on X:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Breaking via X:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Trending via Instagram:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Just landed via Slack:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Going viral on Messenger:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny audio tour quotes

New funny audio tour quotes 👇

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

All funny audio tour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨