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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Breaking via WeChat:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Going viral on Messenger:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Just landed via Discord:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Spotted on Reddit:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Funny baseball player quotes

New funny baseball player quotes 👇

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

1 week ago

activity, baseball, baseball cap, baseball player, both, cap, challenge, dating, funny activity, hard, headwear, humor, kissing, player, players, sports, while

All funny baseball player quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on TikTok this month:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

60 shares on Discord this month:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Seen just now on Threads:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Trending via TikTok:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Going viral on WeChat:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

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Funny baseball player quotes

New funny baseball player quotes 👇

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

All funny baseball player quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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