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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spotted on Facebook:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Going viral on Threads:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Just shared via Messenger:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Just shared via Reddit:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Trending via Instagram:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Just shared via Messenger:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Spotted on X:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Funny beards quotes

Funny beards quotes are the perfect way to celebrate that glorious face fuzz with a chuckle or two! 🧔😂 Whether you’re rocking a mighty mane or just starting to grow, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor to your beard game. Beard lovers, get ready to smile, laugh, and appreciate the art of the whiskers like never before! 🧔✨ #BeardHumor #WhiskerWit

New funny beards quotes 👇

All funny beards quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

71 shares on Discord this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Making waves on Messenger:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Making waves on WeChat:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

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