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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Spotted on Reddit:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Just landed via YouTube:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Trending via Twitch:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Making waves on Reddit:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Just shared via WeChat:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Making waves on Telegram:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Trending via Discord:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Going viral on Instagram:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Reported on WeChat:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

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