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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Spotted on Twitch:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Trending via WeChat:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Reported on Twitch:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Trending via Discord:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Just landed via Reddit:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Going viral on X:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Spotted on Reddit:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Spotted on Messenger:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Live now on YouTube:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Shared recently on Threads:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Just landed via Slack:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Live now on Snapchat:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Breaking via Threads:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

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