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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Spotted on TikTok:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Making waves on Twitch:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Seen just now on X:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Funny body health quotes

New funny body health quotes 👇

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

0

6 months ago

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body health, comfort, comfortable, give, health, humor, posture, scoliosis, why, yourself

Someone from 🇵🇪 has recently bookmarked this quote.

14 shares on Pinterest this month.

All funny body health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

90 shares on Threads this month:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

27 shares on X this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

49 shares on Threads this month:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Spotted on Messenger:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Trending via Discord:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Making waves on Slack:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

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Activity Log ✨

Funny body health quotes

New funny body health quotes 👇

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

All funny body health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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