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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Going bananas on WeChat:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Just shared via X:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Spotted on WeChat:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Funny bomb quotes

Funny bomb quotes 💣💥 are the perfect way to add a blast of humor to any conversation! Whether you’re dropping witty one-liners or explosive puns, these quotes bring laughter that’s sure to detonate smiles 😄🔥. Ready to light up your day with some playful wordplay? Let’s get this comedy countdown started! 🚀😂

New funny bomb quotes 👇

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

0

4 hours ago

anxiety, bomb, chest, demand, forgot, humor, panic, strapped, stress, ticking, ticking bomb
This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

0

2 months ago

body, bomb, daily, daily routine, dark, dark humor, day, every, exaggeration, humor, i, irony, routine, self-deprecation, suicide, suicide bomb, temple
I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

0

2 months ago

bomb, comparison, flower, fragile, humor, irony, toughness
The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, being, best, bomb, bomb technician, danger, day, humor, irony, job, life, never, profession, safety, technician, work, worst

All funny bomb quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

27 shares on Facebook this month:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

63 shares on X this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Just shared via WeChat:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Trending via TikTok:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Seen just now on Slack:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Making waves on Reddit:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

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