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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Going viral on Discord:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Reported on TikTok:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Going viral on X:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Just landed via Threads:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Spotted on Discord:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Making waves on YouTube:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Home » Funny Botched Quotes

Funny botched quotes

Funny botched quotes are like a comedy goldmine 🎤🤣—those hilarious mix-ups and twisted words that make you do a double take! Whether it’s a famous saying gone wildly wrong or a slip of the tongue that turns wisdom upside down, these moments keep us laughing and guessing 🤪💬. Ready to dive into some epic fails of language? Let’s celebrate the joy of perfectly imperfect words! 😂✨

New funny botched quotes 👇

For even more funny botched quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny botched quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Trending via Twitch:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Going viral on Instagram:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Shared recently on Telegram:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Going viral on Instagram:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Spotted on Discord:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Just shared via Messenger:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

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