Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Spotted on Threads:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Just shared via Facebook:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Funny bouncing quotes

Funny bouncing quotes bring a burst of energy and laughter to your day! 🎉 Whether you’re jumping into new adventures or just vibing with life’s ups and downs, these witty lines will have you bouncing with joy and smiles 😄✨. Perfect for brightening moods, sparking motivation, or sharing a giggle with friends—get ready to bounce back better than ever! 🏀💥 #BounceBack #GoodVibesOnly

New funny bouncing quotes 👇

All funny bouncing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

35 shares on Discord this month:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

43 shares on Discord this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

47 shares on X this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Just shared via TikTok:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Just landed via Threads:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Breaking via Twitch:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

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