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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

21 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Spotted on Telegram:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Spotted on X:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Just landed via Slack:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Going viral on Slack:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

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Funny brilliant quotes

New funny brilliant quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Commentary:
Ah, the joy of being single during the holidays. 🙃 While everyone else is busy decking the halls and roasting chestnuts over an open fire, us single folks are pros at putting on a brave face and pretending that we're totally fine spending another night alone with our Netflix queue. 🎄🎁 Just think of it as an extended opportunity to practice your solo dance moves and enjoy the entire box of chocolates without any judgment! 💃🍫 #SingleBells #

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

21 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Breaking via YouTube:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Just shared via Discord:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Just landed via Instagram:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

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