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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Live now on Instagram:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Reported on Twitch:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Making waves on Twitch:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Freshly posted on Discord:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Just landed via Twitch:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Trending via X:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Trending via Twitch:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Trending via WeChat:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Trending via TikTok:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Shared recently on Threads:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Just shared via Twitch:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Freshly posted on X:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

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