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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

7 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,714

Funny Quotes Topics

15,370

Funny Quotes Images

12,714

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Spotted on X:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Making waves on Telegram:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Live now on Discord:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Just landed via WeChat:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Going viral on YouTube:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

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Funny cancelling plan quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

7 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,714

Funny Quotes Topics

15,370

Funny Quotes Images

12,714

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Spotted on Telegram:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Breaking via WeChat:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Just shared via Facebook:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

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