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Funny car alarm quotes

  • I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

    Commentary:
    “When you’re in the Walking Olympics and nobody told your friend 😂🏃‍♂️🏅 #CatchMeIfYouCan”

  • Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

    Commentary:
    “When even your phone’s more concerned about security than your love life! 😂🔐📲 #ForeverVerified”

  • Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

    Commentary:
    “When your parents are experts in spotting fake friends but get bamboozled by Aunt Karen 🤦‍♂️😂 #FamilyDrama #PlotTwist” 🌟👀

  • Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

    Commentary:
    “When life hands you a meteor, give birth to a T-Rex! 🦖💨😂”

  • Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a problem I can check off the list! 😂👍 #StressFree”

  • Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

    Commentary:
    “That’s just Netflix betrayal! 😱🍿 #KeepThePasswordLove”

  • Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

    Commentary:
    “When you say ‘Hey!’ but really mean ‘Zzz…’” 😴😂👍

  • Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the golden era of questionable hairstyles but genuine grins! 😂📸 #TBT #RealDealSmiles”

  • Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

    Commentary:
    “Oops! Guess my ‘eye contact’ came with a free trial. 😜👀”

  • At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

    Commentary:
    “Plot Twist: Every time Prejudice appears, just yell ‘I object!’ like you’re at a wedding! 🎩😂📖”

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