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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Trending via Threads:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Trending via WeChat:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Shared recently on Threads:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Trending via YouTube:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Just landed via Facebook:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Trending via WeChat:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Going bananas on Threads:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Live now on Threads:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Funny career break quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I only drink when I people.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

You are the Monday of my life.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve been blocked by better.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

85 shares on Threads this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Love is in the air fryer.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Live now on Discord:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Trending via WeChat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Spotted on Messenger:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Breaking via Telegram:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Spotted on Telegram:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

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