Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Just landed via YouTube:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Trending via Messenger:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Seen just now on X:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Going viral on Facebook:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Funny carpeting quotes

New funny carpeting quotes 👇

All funny carpeting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

41 shares on Slack this month:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

59 shares on X this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Just landed via Discord:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Going viral on Telegram:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

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