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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Just landed via Discord:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Spotted on TikTok:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Going viral on Discord:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Trending via Threads:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Live now on X:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Funny cautious quotes

New funny cautious quotes 👇

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

4 weeks ago

before, both, burger, cautious, Chinese, Chinese burger, food, food search, Googling, humor, looking, looking over shoulder, over, search, shoulder, shoulders

All funny cautious quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

11 shares on Discord this month:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

62 shares on Slack this month:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Going bananas on Discord:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Seen just now on Discord:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Just landed via Messenger:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Going viral on Instagram:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny cautious quotes

New funny cautious quotes 👇

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

All funny cautious quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨