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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Making waves on Telegram:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Reported on TikTok:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Going viral on Instagram:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Just shared via WeChat:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Spreading quickly via X:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Breaking via Reddit:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Going viral on Telegram:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Shared recently on Discord:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Breaking via Discord:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Reported on Reddit:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

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