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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Trending via Instagram:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Reported on Instagram:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Trending via TikTok:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Spotted on WeChat:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Reported on Reddit:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Live now on Discord:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Trending via Facebook:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

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