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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Going viral on Threads:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Making waves on Slack:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Going viral on X:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Trending via WeChat:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Spotted on Reddit:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Spotted on Messenger:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Funny Cheeto quotes

Funny Cheeto quotes are the perfect snack for your smile! 🧡 Whether you’re a cheesy snack lover or just need a quick laugh, these witty gems will crunch their way into your heart 🍟😂 Get ready to spice up your day with some bold, cheesy humor that’s as irresistible as your favorite orange snack! 🌶️😜 #SnackAttack #CheesyLaughs

New funny Cheeto quotes 👇

All funny Cheeto quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

67 shares on Discord this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

23 shares on X this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Spotted on YouTube:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Spotted on X:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Just landed via X:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Trending via Snapchat:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

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