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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Making waves on Messenger:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Going viral on Reddit:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Going bananas on Threads:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Trending via TikTok:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Just landed via Reddit:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Funny chronically online quotes

New funny chronically online quotes 👇

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

3 weeks ago

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All funny chronically online quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on X this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

54 shares on X this month:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

83 shares on Threads this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Spotted on TikTok:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Spotted on Messenger:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Going viral on Facebook:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Never eat more than you can lift.

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Funny chronically online quotes

New funny chronically online quotes 👇

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

All funny chronically online quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Trending Topics 📁

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