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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Spotted on Discord:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Just shared via TikTok:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Just landed via Reddit:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Making waves on Discord:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Just landed via Instagram:

The government even made aliens boring.

Going viral on Discord:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Funny clark quotes

New funny clark quotes 👇

All funny clark quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

76 shares on Slack this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Spotted on Instagram:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Freshly posted on Threads:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Just landed via TikTok:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

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