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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Going bananas on Threads:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Making waves on Facebook:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Breaking via Reddit:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Spotted on Messenger:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Freshly posted on X:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Seen just now on X:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Funny close range quotes

Funny close range quotes bring laughter right up close and personal 😂✨ Perfect for those moments when you want a quick giggle that hits home 🎯 Whether you’re chatting with friends or scrolling through your feed, these witty gems pack a punch just inches away from your funny bone 🤣 Ready to brighten your day with humor that’s all about being up close and hilarious? Let’s dive in! 🎉📢

New funny close range quotes 👇

All funny close range quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Threads this month:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

56 shares on X this month:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Live now on Threads:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Live now on Pinterest:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Just shared via YouTube:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Making waves on Messenger:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

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