162 funny coffee quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

May 27, 2026

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

May 27, 2026

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

May 27, 2026

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

May 27, 2026

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

May 27, 2026

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

May 27, 2026

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

May 27, 2026

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

May 27, 2026

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

May 27, 2026

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

May 27, 2026

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

May 27, 2026

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

May 26, 2026

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

May 26, 2026

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

May 26, 2026

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

May 26, 2026

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

May 26, 2026

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

May 26, 2026

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

May 26, 2026

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

May 26, 2026

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

May 26, 2026

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

May 26, 2026

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

May 26, 2026

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

May 26, 2026

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

May 26, 2026

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

May 26, 2026

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

May 26, 2026

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

May 26, 2026

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

May 25, 2026

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

May 25, 2026

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

May 25, 2026

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

May 25, 2026

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

May 25, 2026

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

May 25, 2026

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

May 25, 2026

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

May 25, 2026

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

May 25, 2026

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

May 25, 2026

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

May 25, 2026

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

May 25, 2026

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

May 25, 2026