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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Just shared via TikTok:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Making waves on Instagram:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Going viral on Instagram:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Spreading quickly via X:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Funny consideration quotes

Funny consideration quotes bring a smile while reminding us to think twice before we act 🤔😂. They turn everyday moments into playful lessons on kindness, patience, and a little bit of cheeky wisdom 😜💡. Perfect for brightening your day or sharing a laugh with friends, these quotes prove that being thoughtful doesn’t have to be boring—it’s all about the fun twist! 🎉✨

New funny consideration quotes 👇

All funny consideration quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

71 shares on Discord this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

44 shares on Slack this month:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Shared recently on X:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Just shared via Reddit:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Going viral on Slack:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Just shared via Reddit:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Going viral on YouTube:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Trending via Threads:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

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