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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Live now on Instagram:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Making waves on Instagram:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Just shared via WeChat:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Trending via Pinterest:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

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Funny consideration quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Reported on Threads:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Breaking via TikTok:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Just landed via YouTube:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Just shared via Reddit:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Going viral on Telegram:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

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