Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Going viral on X:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Spotted on Slack:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Live now on X:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Live now on Telegram:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Going viral on WeChat:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Funny cough drop quotes

New funny cough drop quotes 👇

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

2 weeks ago

across, being, cough, cough drop, cruise, drop, favorite, funny moment, humor, illness, launch, missile, moment, mouth, reaction, room, sick, sickness, sneeze, unexpected

All funny cough drop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

26 shares on Slack this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I told ChatGPT about us.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Spotted on TikTok:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny cough drop quotes

New funny cough drop quotes 👇

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

All funny cough drop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨