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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Seen just now on Threads:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Spotted on Telegram:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Going viral on Instagram:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Going viral on Telegram:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Reported on Twitch:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Trending via Slack:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Breaking via Twitch:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Live now on Facebook:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Just landed via Slack:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Breaking via Reddit:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Reported on Twitch:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

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