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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Just landed via X:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Spotted on Reddit:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Live now on Discord:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Funny credit card debt quotes

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All funny credit card debt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

83 shares on Threads this month:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

For the record, I use a turntable.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Trending via Snapchat:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Trending via Slack:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Live now on Slack:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

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