Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Just shared via Instagram:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Breaking via Reddit:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Just shared via Threads:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Funny crime evidence quotes

New funny crime evidence quotes 👇

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

3 days ago

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All funny crime evidence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

41 shares on Discord this month:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Trending via WeChat:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Seen just now on Threads:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Trending via WeChat:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Going viral on YouTube:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Going viral on Slack:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny crime evidence quotes

New funny crime evidence quotes 👇

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

All funny crime evidence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨