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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Going viral on Reddit:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Seen just now on X:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Breaking via Messenger:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Freshly posted on Discord:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Spotted on Reddit:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Making waves on Discord:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Just shared via Telegram:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Spotted on TikTok:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Just shared via Threads:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

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