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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Reported on Instagram:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Breaking via Reddit:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Live now on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Breaking via Slack:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Just shared via YouTube:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Making waves on Slack:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Trending via YouTube:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Going viral on YouTube:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

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