Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Live now on Messenger:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Just shared via Instagram:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Breaking via Instagram:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Breaking via YouTube:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Seen just now on Slack:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Funny decency quotes

Funny decency quotes bring a hilarious twist to the art of being polite and kind 😄✨ They remind us that manners don’t have to be boring and can sparkle with wit and charm 🤹‍♂️💬 Whether you need a chuckle or a clever way to stay classy, these gems are perfect for brightening your day and sharing some good vibes! 😂👍 #StayDecent #LaughOutLoud

New funny decency quotes 👇

All funny decency quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

100 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

78 shares on X this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Just landed via Telegram:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Just shared via Discord:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Live now on X:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Just shared via Snapchat:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

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