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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Live now on Discord:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Going viral on Telegram:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Just shared via Slack:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Reported on Slack:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Seen just now on X:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Just landed via Messenger:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Shared recently on YouTube:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

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